i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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