It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
