Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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