Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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