we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
