How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My vagina is officially offended.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
