Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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