8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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