Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
MIDGETS
????
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
