A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
