Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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