she woke up with a sticky ear
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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