Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think my moral compass just broke
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
