She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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