So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
