The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My vagina just clenched in fear
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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