White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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