i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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