i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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