im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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