just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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