Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
