I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
