you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
