I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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