I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
