Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My liver just had a heart attack.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
