Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
