Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
