someone owes me an orgasm
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
