I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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