She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
