this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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