Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
