As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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