I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
