dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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