Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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