i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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