Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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