Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
