How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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