I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
