physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
