and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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