I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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