You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
