): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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