You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize