a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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