Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
