After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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