Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
