You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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