can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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