I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
