i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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